So I know what you're thinking...
Tilda Swinton fur coat and heels right?
Sorry that was a Freudian slut... Dammit! what's wrong with me?
Well since you asked... I'm having the same problem as you guys... I'm missing the Vader Madness... I'm getting a million emails asking me why I haven't made a deck in ages (in my head at least) here's one here...
Dear Gordon Vader,
Why haven't you made a deck in ages?.
Love,
Tilda Swinton
Well how can I turn down that kind of request? So here it is...
It's nuts. it's left-field. it will win you one game in twenty, but when it does... you'll leave your opponent scratching his head and trying to work out why you're the one leaving with the 6 foot androgynous strawberry blonde film star because every one knows Ms Swinton is a combo lover...
I call it Death Cup (I know scary right?)
So standard is great. the top decks all cost about what you used to pay for a pair of Mindsculptors and that's brought down barriers to play... But still... you can get a lot of beer for the cost of a snapcaster mage.... and I like beer...So here's a deck that will cost you nuffin and win you less... but like I said it's all about the taking part and to be frank if you're not taken apart playing this then you might want to invest in a snapcaster mage or two...Seriously though give it a go because its all there in your commons box and it might surprise you...So enough rambling here's the plan...
you will need...
Lands I'll leave up to you... but as it's mostly artifact based you can run pretty much anything just add swamps, plains and forests or run the cheaper duals like razorverge thicket... but you really want green to get you moving...
So what does it do? Well it's pokier than you think, but basically it's a lock down life gain deck that has two strategies for the win...
Mostly you're just keeping your opponents out with effective blockers while at the same time gaining insane amounts of life and putting you out of their reach until eventually (actually usually very quickly) flipping over the chalice of life, to death and putting you opponent on a 4 turn clock...you can do this turn 3 easily...
As always there's a Vader Combo and here it is...This decks strategy relies upon you getting to 30 life in a hurry and what's the fastest way to do that? Well if you haven't figured it out from the list here's the double act you're looking for....
Elixir of immortality & Viridian Harvest..
So it's simple the elixir taps for 2 to gain 5 life and goes to the graveyard and resets your library and the enchantment gains you 6 life when the enchanted elixir hits the graveyard that's turn 2/3 that's - 31 life - turn 3/4 drop a chalice and watch your opponent's face...
Ok... so you can see what happens in the perfect world cool, but we know that there's another player on the table however, while it may sound like a one trick pony your deck has other answers...
The talismans and chalices will pump your life naturally and the walls and wardens will keep out pretty much everything... while all the time you can just keep tapping and sacking the elixirs to push towards that 30 life...
Elesh Norn, Ratchet Nombs and Glissa will help keep out everything...tragic slip anything you can't deal with, naturally allowing a wall to croak first and if Shrek shows up Geth's Verdict his big green hexproof ass... And remember you can just keep reseting you library... in late game you'll find you can gain stupid stupid amounts of life and eventually you will trigger the fatal chalice or top deck them....Be careful popping your ratchet bombs though because a flipped chalice has the same converted mana cost as a token
Ok so here's the Mecano we're gonna leave it up to you to build the skyscraper... Do you add blue for control? Moxes for turn one tick? Card draw wraths? Well that’s up you...
FASQ
how do I play against Mana leak? They'll never have seen your deck before and will have no idea what to counter...Chances are they'll have 3 waiting when you try and resolve an Elesh Norn but that's ok because you can just reset the library and try again...
Why are there 4 Viridian Harvests in the deck?
People with large foreheads and small penises will tell you that this is a bad card, but every card has its place and harvests place is here... don't see it as an enchantment, see it as gain six life for one green... it goes well on both the walls and the ratchet bombs too...
Revole existance? Players with this card are a major threat to the fun, but don't worry if you're facing one then the bar's probably near by and you can afford to get drunk because you built your deck with 2$...
So there you have it.... A cheap, sneaky deck amd a giggle to play... I'll post the links soon and don't forget to Click Click Click those Banner ads...Particularily Magic Madhouse...
UPDATE
Did you spot it? The deliberate mistake? Sure you did it was obvious... I mean imagine if you hadn't noticed that the elixir of immortality doesn't actually go the graveyard. I mean clearly it doesn't, I mean why would it right? It's not like every other stupid artifact in the scars block runs a tap sac mechanic, like all the spells bombs, but no, not the elixir because that would take up too much precious space for text and we wouldn't want that. So no the Elixir doesn't go to the graveyard at all meaning that the combo doesn't work. I mean I'm lucky I've never made a bad play or a magic mistake. Imagine though that just for a second some idiot did take the Cup Death deck to their Standard testing and played three rounds before someone muttered the immortal phrase,”Can I just read that for a second,” and discovered your deliberate mistake. I mean how embarrassing would that be?
I'm just glad that I've never made a magic mistake and to celebrate I'm going to write a special account of all the mistakes that my friends and I have never made,.including the time during Lorwyn that I, I mean someone from Canada, swung an 21/21 Hamlet-back Goliath, for the win, straight into a 1/1 death-touch elf despite the fact I, he, had a lighting bolt in my, his, hand. Response? I her you say , oh I would have done had the Canadian idiot not decided to leave a plains open as his only source of mana after tapping the red/white duals to play a pointless Wispmare, doh!
Anyway we were struck by madness last night and the thought hit me why not document the epic fails of magic We've all made them, well I haven't, but you all have and that guy from Canada who looks a bit like me but definitely isn't me.
So please send in your epic fails and I'll create a glorious shrine to the daftest things we've ever done in the pursuit of a top eight.
Oh and finally to make the deck above work, just drop in some golden urns (which do go to the graveyard...)
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